


Trapped

by silverxtiger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bullying, Comfort, Friendship, Love, M/M, Neglect, Romance, Self Harm, care, discontinued for now until rewrites are done, rewriting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 02:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4729448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverxtiger/pseuds/silverxtiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war, most kids went back to school. Including Draco. The only people that talk to him are Blaise and Pansy, but he can't tell them everything. They won't understand. He's left alone in his problems, till he gets caught up in a mess with none other than Harry fucking Potter. (Rated M for later)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Frozen

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to JK Rowling

Draco pulled his sleeves down on his arms as he left the common room. He didn’t need anyone knowing his habits. He sighed inwardly, enjoying the quiet of the corridors. He felt lonely, and unwanted. It was the year after the war, and he had expected people would be bitter. But a lot of people were outright ignoring him. The younger kids were scared of him, having quickly learned his last name. No body sat near him in the Great Hall except Blaise and Pansy.  
He hated it.  
He wanted things to go back to the way they were before, minus the war.  
He wanted to have friends again whether they were fake or not.  
At least people would be talking to him.  
And not setting traps like the one he walked into.  
There was a sudden cold, and he stopped moving against his will. He growled, and looked around as much as he could, and tried to see the culprit. He couldn’t see anyone though, and wondered whether or not it was just a prank for anyone. He heard footsteps behind him, and he gulped, composing his face to face the perpetrator.  
“The hell Malfoy?” said Harry fucking Potter, “Why are you just standing in the middle of the corridor?”  
“I don’t know Potter, why don’t you tell me?” he sneered.  
“How would I know? I don’t spend my days following old school rivalries.”  
“Oh really? You wouldn’t set a trap just for me?”  
Potter stood in front of him and shook his head.  
“You could have just said that I the first place.”  
“So it was you?” he growled.  
“No you dumb ass. I meant tell me you were frozen in place,” he says, “Now wait a moment while I figure out what the hell happened.”  
“It’s not like I would be able to go anywhere anyway, Potter.”  
Potter didn’t say anything and looked around. He cast a revealing spell, and shook his head. He pointed at the string going across the floor, and the small vial above Malfoy’s head.  
“Looks like someone just decided to dump some freezing potion on you,” he said.  
“Great, thank you for telling me. Now I can stand here and think about that for a week until someone finds me!”  
“It’s not like I’m going to leave you here, Merlin’s beard,” Potter muttered a few spells, and stepped back.  
Draco nearly fell forward, having been in mid-step. He collected his self quickly, and stood up straight. He glared at Potter as he tried to hold back laughter.  
“Don’t laugh at me Potter, or I’ll freeze you to the spot and see how well you’re walking after.”  
“Nah, but thanks for the offer!”  
Draco huffed and brushed past him, continuing on his way. He wasn’t going to deal with Potter right now, it was too much.  
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”  
“What do you want Potter?”  
“Maybe an ‘Oh thank you for unfreezing me Harry’?”  
He gritted his teeth as he kept walking, “Thank you.”  
“Where are you going anyway?”  
He spun around to face him, causing Potter to step back.  
“Why do you care so much?”  
“Maybe because you’re out here in the middle of the night?”  
“So are you, Potter, so I could ask the same thing.”  
“I guess you got me there. I was going to the Room of Requirement.”  
“I didn’t ask where you were going.”  
“Well I figured if I told you where I was going, you would tell me.”  
“What gave you that impression Potter?” he asked haughtily.  
“Nothing did, I just assumed-“  
“Well you assumed wrong,” he said.  
Potter sighed behind him, and Draco smirked. He liked bothering Potter. He sort of missed it. He guessed he didn’t mind having Potter follow him a bit. It was nice having someone speak to him that wasn’t Blaise or Pansy. Even if it was Potter.  
“You’re going to the Room of Requirement too aren’t you?”  
“Good job Potter, you’re very observational.”  
“Shut it Malfoy,” he paused, “Why are you going there?”  
He stayed quiet.  
“Not going to answer me?” Potter asks.  
“You did tell me to shut it.”  
Potter growls in frustration, and Malfoy laughs a bit, startling himself.  
“Did I just have the honor of hearing Malfoy laugh?” Potter asked.  
“I do find amusement in things still you know.”  
There was a moment’s pause, before Potter spoke again, sadness in his voice, “It just doesn’t happen as much does it…?”  
Draco stayed quiet for a while. He didn’t laugh much at all since the war ended. Actually, he hadn’t laughed at all since he was dragged further into it. He wondered why Potter sounded sad. Doesn’t he have friends and girlfriend? He’s the savior and won the war.  
“No, it doesn’t…”  
Potter nodded, “I understand.”  
“How do you understand? You were on the winning side. You got revenge.”  
“It’s not as easy as it seems Malfoy, trust me.”  
Draco shrugged, and looked at the wall, “Oh look, my door is here.  
There was a door to the Room already. It was intricately designed, and had a warm feeling to it. It looked like the door to a cottage. While Potter stood there and stared at it, wondering how it showed up already, Draco just went toward it, and went inside. He stopped just inside the door, confused. This was not what he was expecting. There were cushioned chairs around a fireplace, an area full of snacks, and a bunch of books everywhere.  
“What’s the holdup Malfoy?” Potter asked behind him.  
“This is not the room I wanted.”  
Potter went in front of him, and shrugged, looking around, “It seems fine to me.”  
“Well you can have at it, I’m going to try to get to the room I wanted,” he said as he backed out and closed the door.  
He walked away for a bit so the door could disappear. But when he went back, the door was still there. Draco huffed, and went in, plopping his self on the couch. He glared at Potter.  
“It’s not my fault it won’t let you go to whatever room you wanted.”  
“Shut it.”  
Potter shrugged, and curled up on the chair he was sitting in. Draco tried not to watch him as Potter stared into the fire, but he couldn’t help it. He looked just as lost as he himself was. Draco wondered why, once again. He looked away, and sighed softly. He chose to ignore that Potter was there, and leaned back, watching the fire also. They fell asleep where they were that night. He should have figured that was the beginning of this mess with Harry fucking Potter.


	2. Chased

Draco woke up, and looked around, confused as to where he was. He rubbed his eyes, and yawned. He stood up immediately when he noticed Potter on the couch, and remembered their little…exchange…last night. He refused to call it a conversation. He huffed, and quickly left the room, not bothering to wake The Golden Boy up. He needed to get to class, and he just enjoyed the thought of Potter being scolded for being late. Everyone was at breakfast, so he went to the dorm to grab his books. He headed to class early, to avoid the looks of the people who learned to despise him. Who he had taught to despise him. He grimaced and walked quicker to class, ignoring the guilt in his stomach.  
Potter showed up twenty minutes late for Potions, and Slughorn looked at him disapprovingly.  
“10 points from being late for class Mr. Potter,” Slughorn said.  
“Yessir…” Draco heard Potter mumble as he sat by his friends.  
The class snickered a bit, and he smiled a bit. He enjoyed getting a bit of ammunition to use against Potter later. Anything to get Potter to talk to him.  
“Alright students! We shall be making a particularly favorite potion of mine! Instructions are on the board, and I will be calling out pairs, so please stay quiet,” Slughorn began.  
Draco sighed, and took a breath. He hoped to god he was paired with Pansy or Blaise. He didn’t need to fail classes just because people hated him. He wouldn’t hear the end of it from his father. He grimaced a bit when he thought about him. It was ridiculous that he was afraid of his own father. It hurt him in ways he had grown used to. Or rather, had learned how to cope with.  
“Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy!” was called across the room.  
Silence fell, and everyone looked at the two. Draco felt the tension between the sides of the room deepen, and he gulped, but stood, and strode to join Potter.  
“I guess we have to work together, Potter. Try not to mess up my grade, maybe?”  
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Malfoy.”  
“Get to work students! No fighting between you two, got it!?” called Slughorn.  
Students grumbled and shuffled around to get the ingredients. Draco stayed by the cauldron as Potter got the ingredients. It was a silent agreement that it would be safer. He heated up the cauldron as instructed, and when Potter came back with the ingredients, took them. He took charge of cutting them and measuring them out as he instructed Potter on when to add them and how to stir.  
“I can bloody-well read Malfoy.”  
“Well, all your failed attempts at potions throughout the years beg to differ,” he sneered.  
Potter grumbled beside him and he smirked. When the potion was finished, he smiled, and nodded. Slughorn congratulated them and let them out early. They had finished before anyone else. Draco left without saying a word to anyone, and headed to the library, wanting to study for Transfiguration. He sensed someone was following him, but ignored it, figuring it was just a Hogwarts ghost. Boy, was he wrong.  
“Hey Death Eater scum, what do you think you’re doing back in this school?”  
Draco froze, and composed his self before he turned around to face the insulter. He froze again when he saw it wasn’t just one. It was four buff Gryffindor boys. Draco internally panicked, trying to find a way out of the situation. He kept his composure on the outside, and glared at the boys.  
“Finishing my education, what does it look like?”  
“Why don’t you go to Azkaban and learn about dementors then?” they laugh.  
“I’ve had enough with dementors, so that doesn’t seem very helpful,” he sneered.  
“Well spend your time learning how to survive then, you are going to spend a lot of time there when we’re done with you, little bitch.”  
“I beg to differ, mother fuckers.”  
“What did you just say!? Come here you piece of shi—“  
Before they could finish Draco darted down the hallways, casting a small spell to drop marbles all over the floor behind him. The Gryffindors all fell over trying to run after him, but it didn’t slow them for long. He ran down numerous hallways, not paying attention to where he was going until he skidded to a halt at the end of a collapsed hallway. Rubble still hadn’t been cleaned up in this part of the castle, and it was everywhere. It blocked his path this way, and the Gryffindors were right behind him. He panicked, unintentionally letting it show on his face.  
“Little bitch is scared would you look at that! Little mouse is stuck now! And in this abandoned hallway no less,” who appears to be the leader looks at his groupies, “Should we have a little fun with this bitch before while we beat him up? He looks enough like a girl to be treated like one, right?”  
The group laughed and closed in around Draco. He backed up against the rubble, not seeing a way out of this. He felt his heart racing, knowing he won’t be able to escape this. He pointed his wand threateningly, but they weren’t bothered. They knew he couldn’t do shit. The first one laid a punch square in his jaw, causing him to drop his wand in pain. Another pinned him against the wall, and kneed him in the stomach. They keep beating him, and start pulling at his clothes. Draco cried silently, not fighting back. He deserved it, he knew it. He had done horrible things not only during the war, but all through school. He wasn’t a good person and it was only a matter of time before it came a bit him in the ass. They were clawing at his shirt when a voice suddenly shouted down the hallway.  
“Oi! What the fuck are you guys doing!?”  
The leader looked behind him, and stood up straight suddenly, coughing, and looking around nervously.  
“Uh. Just teaching a Death Eater bitch a lesson?” he said nervously.  
“Get the fuck away, all of you! This is disgusting. Who even are you –“  
The voice cut off suddenly, and gasped. The others backed away from Draco, and he curled up on the floor, shaking.  
“Malfoy? Merlin’s fucking pants. Get the fuck out of here. Know that I am reporting this to the headmaster, whether you’re my house mates or fucking not. Whether he’s a Death Eater or not. This is not fucking okay!” the voice growled. “Get the fuck out of my sight.”  
Draco stayed curled up as he heard the footsteps retreating. One set of steps came closer, and he winced when a hand was placed on his shoulder.  
“Malfoy, get up please. They’re gone.”  
He looked up, and froze. The voice was none other than Harry fucking Potter, once again saving him. He looked away, hating the fact that Potter was seeing him in a weak state, crying and everything.  
“Don’t try and act noble and shit right now Malfoy. You nearly got raped. Why didn’t you stop them?”  
Draco didn’t respond, just kept looking away.  
“Shit Malfoy. At least let me help you get cleaned up. Come on. Room of Requirement, it’s nearby.”  
Draco silently followed. Thankfully, the hallways were clear, and they reached the Room without interference. Draco didn’t say anything on the way there. He hated the fact that he was accepting Potter’s help. He couldn’t figure out why the fuck he was listening to what his enemy was telling him. He just did what he was told, as Potter helped him clean the blood off his nose with a cloth and put an icepack to his jaw. He felt his clothes mend themselves as Potter cast a charm and he looked away, holding the ice pack to his face. It was quiet between them for a bit.  
“Why did you let them Malfoy?” the dumb Gryffindor asked.  
Draco shook his head, refusing to break down in front of The Savior, The Golden Boy, his enemy since the beginning of school. He didn’t want him knowing his problems and self-doubt.  
“You can’t keep this in forever Malfoy. It’ll eat at you until there’s nothing left, trust me.”  
“What the fuck would you know about it Potter!? You don’t know anything about me!” he snapped, glaring at him.  
Potter was startled, and looked away.  
“I guess I don’t, but I know when people give up fighting back, they’re not okay. Especially someone like you.”  
Draco was silent. He knew the other was right; he just didn’t want to admit it. He just looked away, and shook his head.  
“You don’t want to know about me Potter. It’s not worth your time.”  
“And who are you to decide what’s worth my time?”  
Draco glared at him, and sneered, “I just don’t need anyone like you knowing my problems Potter.”  
What happened next was not something Draco expected. Potter took off his fucking shirt. He went to look away, but stopped. He gasped, and his eyes widened. Not only was Potter deathly skinny, but scars of every size and freshness decorated The Golden Boy’s skin. Every inch of his arms, chest, and stomach had razor marks. Some looked as fresh as earlier that day.  
“I know how it fucking feels Malfoy. You’re not the only one that came out of this fucking war with problems. Stop pretending you are alone in your fucking problems, and when you decide to do so, talk to me. Because I know. I know how it fucking feels. We’re just different sides of the same fucking coin Malfoy.”  
He gulped, knowing every word was true. He had the sudden urge to reach out and touch the scars on the other’s chest, but kept that to his self. He looked away as tears slid down his face. A few minutes passed, and Potter put his shirt back on. He went to leave, but Draco grabbed his arm suddenly.  
“No…please. Stay.”  
Potter looked at him, and Draco looked away, releasing his grip. He curled up, and sighed a heavy sigh.  
“I’m not ready to talk…but could you stay until I can…compose myself again…” he murmurs.  
A moment of silence.  
“Sure.”  
Draco gulped, and looked at Potter. He shook, and let the tears fall, silently pleading the other to comfort him somehow. He didn’t fucking care anymore. He knew he needed it, and he pushed away the feelings of hate and disgust for the other. Potter moved to sit next to him, and pulled Draco into his arms. Draco lets tears flow, and sobs escape him. He gripped Potter’s shirt, and cried. He felt weak, and scared. He didn’t want to be the bad guy. He hated it. He hated being who he was. He wished desperately to change, to be allowed to change. He didn’t say anything to Potter. He didn’t want to talk to him. He couldn’t. Not yet. Not that he planned to.  
He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn’t notice Potter stroking his hair, and pressing his cheek on top of Draco’s head. He didn’t notice the gentle murmurs of comfort until he started calming down. He was too tired to care by that point, and just sat there, curled up to Potter.  
Curled up to Harry fucking Potter. It scared him to think about what his father would think. He pushed those thoughts away, and focused on the comfort. The feeling of touching another person. Whether it was his enemy or not, it was someone who was paying attention to him, and that was what he needed.  
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~  
He didn’t know he had fallen asleep until he felt someone nudge him, and he opened his eyes.  
“Malfoy, wake up. We’re going to miss afternoon classes, that is, if you want to go. I know those guys are in those classes…”  
Draco suddenly remembered everything, and sat up, wiping his face, and fixing his hair.  
“I can’t show I’m too weak,” he choked out, his throat dry.  
“Drink some water. Here,” Potter said as he handed him a cup.  
Draco downed the glass, and stood up, adjusting his robes. He messed with his hair a bit more. I guess I should thank him….as much as I hate to admit it, he thought. He turned to Potter suddenly, and bowed a bit.  
“Thank you. I guess.”  
Potter was a bit surprised, he noticed, but nodded.  
“You’re welcome Malfoy.”  
Draco nodded back, and turned toward the door.  
“If you need to…do that again. Or just…sit with someone. I’ll be here after dinner.”  
Draco paused, but nodded again, “Okay.”  
He left, and walked to his next class, his head held high. He took a deep breath, and ignored the fact that he just cried and sobbed in front of, and was comforted by, Harry fucking Potter. He ignored the fact that he had curled up to him. He focused on his classes for the rest of the day. It wasn’t until dinner, when his eyes caught Potter’s from across the hall, that he paid any mind to it. He looked down at his food again, and picked at it a bit, before standing. He shot a glance at Potter, before heading to the Room of Requirement. He was giving in, showing a weakness, he knew it. But by this point, he didn’t care. He needed someone to comfort him, and if the only person that cared was his enemy, then so be it. He’d take it.  
He teared up when he got in the Room, realizing how low he’s gotten. How low his father would think of him. How much trouble he would be in. He reminded his self that he didn’t care about his father. It didn’t work. It never worked. He dug his nails into his arm as he waited for Potter. Tearing his skin apart.  
Harry fucking Potter. The Golden Boy. The fucking Savior of the Wizarding World. And soon, whether he liked it or not, whether he accepted it or not, Harry Potter would be his savior.


	3. Questioned

Draco woke up next to a warm body, confused as to his location. He shifted away from the warmth, and looked at the source. He rubbed his eyes, and looked again.  
Harry Potter.  
He forgot that he had fallen asleep with the other the night before. He winced as he remembered the night’s events.

  
_“What the fuck are you doing Malfoy?” exclaimed an enraged Potter when he saw Draco’s arms._  
 _“I-I don’t…” was all Draco managed._  
 _Potter pulled Draco’s arms toward him, and muttered a few spells. He met Draco’s eyes and glared at him._  
 _“Don’t do this again.”_  
 _Draco nodded, and looked away. A few moments passed, as Potter still held his arms. Gentle touches were covering where the scars were, and he looked back. Potter was kissing the scars. Potter was kissing his skin. Draco froze. Potter stopped._  
 _“S-sorry…” Potter mumbled, “I don’t know why…”_  
 _Draco shook his head, and pulled his arms away. He curled up, and stared at the fire. He didn’t know how to feel about anything. He was numb. Potter scooted beside him, and hesitantly cradled him. Draco let his-self cry again, and leaned on Potter’s shoulder, giving in to the comfort once again._

  
Draco wasn’t sure he wanted to remember everything. He shook his head, and stood, nudging Potter with his foot.  
“We’re going to be late if you don’t get up now, Potter.”  
The other grumbled, and rubbed his face, adjusting his glasses. He stood and stretched. When Potter shook his head to straighten out his hair, Draco thought he looked much like a dog. He waited until Potter was done before offering his hand. Potter looked at it confused.  
“This is a thank you and goodbye handshake Potter,” Draco sneered.  
“Oh- right,” Potter said as he took Draco’s hand and shook it, meeting Draco’s eyes.  
“I…” Draco paused, and then shook his head. “Thank you Potter. I’ll…see you in class.”  
“I’ll be here after dinner again, Malfoy.”  
Draco nodded, and left.  
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~  
Harry sighed as he watched the other leave the room. He wasn’t sure he knew what was happening. He figured he was just helping someone in need. But it felt more like they were helping each other, in a way. Harry grabbed his cloak, and put it on. He looked around the room, and realized that it was a combination of the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms. His brows furrowed, wondering what that meant. He had asked for a place both of them felt at home. Did Malfoy hate his house? Suppose he did, it was home of Voldemort for a while Harry thought. He left the Room of Requirement and went down to breakfast.  
“Harry, where have you been sleeping these past two nights?” asked Ron, as soon as Harry sat down.  
“Uh, the Room of Requirement.”  
“Why Harry? Are you having bad dreams?” Hermione questioned.  
“No, I just- It’s more comfortable in there.”  
Ron tilted his head.  
“Less reminders of how many people we lost,” Harry continued.  
A silence fell across them, and they picked at their food. It was never mentioned how many seats in the Great Hall were empty. Even with the new first years this year, it felt cold and empty. No one had said anything. The only mention of their fallen peers was Dumbledore’s speech at the beginning of the year, and some murmurs in small conversations across the castle.  
“I’m going to head to class early…” said Harry, pushing his plate away, having barely picked at it.  
Ron and Hermione nod, and let the other have time to himself. Harry leaves the Great Hall with his head down, not paying attention to how the Hall got quieter when he stood. He was lost in his thoughts. He had seen too many people die in front of him. He needed to get away from the Great Hall and pretend everything was okay.  
“Potter!”  
Harry turned around toward the voice, and saw Malfoy jogging to catch up to him. He waited until he did, before replying.  
“What is it Malfoy?”  
“I just saw you leave the Great Hall. You seemed a bit out of it. I figured it’s only right to make sure you are okay since you have…aided me.”  
Harry was a bit surprised, but nodded, “I’m fine Malfoy. Thanks.”  
It became a bit awkward as they started walking to class. They walked a few feet apart, and looked at the floor.  
“The Great Hall is too empty,” Harry mumbled.  
“It is…too many people…” Malfoy’s voice choked up a bit, so he stopped talking.  
Harry looked at him, understanding. It had to be hard for the other to see how many people Voldemort and his followers killed. The followers including Malfoy’s father, and Malfoy himself. Harry looked away, and moved a bit closer to the other as they walked, only a foot apart now. Malfoy made no motion to move away, and kept walking.  
“Going to do this potion correctly Potter? Or are you going to drop the ingredients on the ground like yesterday?” Malfoy joked, trying to lighten the air.  
“I did not just drop them! Someone walked by and knocked them off!”  
“Oh I’m sure!”  
“I’ll prove it then, and I won’t drop a single thing today, unless it’s into the cauldron.”  
“We’ll see Potter.”  
They both smiled, and laughed a bit. A sense of warmth spread through both of them. Neither could place it, but they felt a bit better. Both set it aside, believing solely that it was just because there was no dark wizard that separated the world. Neither noticed when they pushed each other around a bit, they seemed like friends.  
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~  
“Quidditch season starts soon, are you going to try out for seeker?” Pansy asked Draco, clinging to his arm.  
“Probably not,” he replied.  
“Well why not?” Pansy whined.  
“People hate me enough without being out on that field Pansy.”  
She huffed, but stayed quiet. Draco shook his head, and pulled his arm away from her, and looked around the common room. It was lunch time, so no one was really there. The room appeared a green color, thanks to the light shining through the lake above them. The roof was glass, and so was the entirety of one wall. They could see the lake creatures swimming about, and the mermaids occasionally came up to the windows. He sighed softly, and didn’t acknowledge the sorrow he felt in his heart about leaving this room at the end of this year. He idly listened to Blaise and Pansy argue over what they were going to transfigure in class that day as he watched the lake. He decided not to dwell on what was bothering him. He decided he would talk to Potter later. He wouldn’t out right tell him everything, he wasn’t ready for that. But he would start to open up. He needed someone to talk to, and if Potter was going to be it, then fine.  
“Draco, come on, class,” he was pulled away from his thoughts by Blaise, and nodded.  
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~   
That night, Draco hesitated before going inside the Room of Requirement. When he finally did, he was pleasantly surprised with a cozy set up of warm milk and brownies on a little table in front of the couch. Potter looked at him, and gestured him over.  
“I had Dobby make some sweets. I hope you don’t mind brownies.”  
“It’s okay; I quite like them, actually.”  
Potter smiled, and handed one to him, and took one for himself. Draco gingerly bit into the brownie, and tried not to let a moan of pleasure escape as he melted at the taste. He hadn’t had a brownie in a long time, and he had forgotten the taste. He heard Potter laugh at him, and he hit Potter on the shoulder.  
“Shut up you brat, I haven’t had one in a while. Is it a crime to enjoy the flavor of something?”  
“No, it’s just, I have never seen you with that kind of look on your face,” Potter laughed.  
Draco blushed, and pouted, before finishing off his brownie.  
“Nor have I seen that either…” Potter said, not laughing anymore, a smile still on his face though.  
“Wh-what?”  
“You pout kind of cutely.”  
Draco blushed, and puffed out his chest, sitting straight up.  
“Malfoys are not cute.”  
Potter laughed, and shook his head. Draco found himself smiling, and admiring the Golden Boy’s smile; the way his laugh warmed his heart. Draco blushed, and looked away. He was in a state of confusion. Something was sparked in him, and he wasn’t sure what it was. He ignored it, and took another brownie, not wanting to lose the moment he had with Potter. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was starting to enjoy the company. They sat for a while in silence, a comfortable silence, and ate their brownies and milk. Draco wrestled with how to bring up what he wanted to talk about. He didn’t know how to bring it up. He glanced at Potter, and then back to the fire. He set his glass down, and turned to him.  
“Potter.”  
“Malfoy.”  
“I am going to tell you a few things. I…I can’t tell you everything all at once…but I can start with small things. And…we can do it with questions. You ask something, I’ll ask something. If we can’t answer at the moment, we’ll file it for later. Deal?”  
Potter thought about it for a moment, and nodded.  
“Sure. Who goes first?”  
“I will. Why did you save me last year? You could have been rid of me.”  
“I didn’t think it was right. You were just a kid with the wrong people. Sure you bullied my friends and me to death, but I never thought you deserved to die Malfoy.”  
“But…”  
“No buts. It’s how I feel. You didn’t choose who your family was. You didn’t choose what was taught to you from the day you were born.”  
Draco looked down, and sighed, “Your turn.”  
“Why did you save me?”  
Draco doesn’t look at him as he responds.  
“You were the only one who could end….everything.”  
Potter nodded, and accepted the answer with grace, not pushing him further.  
Draco hesitated with his next question, but pushed through.  
“Why…are you so skinny Potter?”  
Potter shifted uncomfortably, “My family…my aunt and uncle and cousin. They aren’t very nice. I had to stay with them because of the blood bond. It was the only thing protecting me.”  
After a moment of silence, Draco reached out for Harry’s hand, and met his eyes, “I’m…sorry.”  
His words were heavier than just sympathy. His words hung in the air with everything he had ever done to the other. Harry nodded, and laced his fingers with Draco’s.  
“It’s okay Draco. I…I’m over it all.”  
“It’s…your turn.”  
“Right…uhm. What were those bruises you had the beginning of this year?”  
Draco looked at him in a bit of shock, having forgotten about them.  
“How…did you notice?”  
“They were pretty big welts Draco. Hard to miss.”  
Draco looked away again, “I got in Father’s way that morning.”  
“How long has that been going on?”  
“It’s always been part of my life Harry. It’s not something that’s new.”  
He noticed Harry wince, and he shook his head.  
“Don’t say anything please. It’s not something I can’t handle.”  
Harry closed his mouth, and looked away. Draco scooted a bit closer.  
“Does…you scar hurt anymore?”  
“No.”  
“Does he hurt your mother?”  
“I don’t know…”  
They sat in silence for a while. Draco leaned his head on Harry’s shoulder, and sighed softly.  
“Did you ever get back with Weaslette?”  
“No, actually…”  
“Why not?”  
“It’s just…it doesn’t feel right. Something changed after Fred…” Harry’s voice sounded quieter, and Draco sat up.  
A few tears clouded Harry’s eyes, and Draco reached out and took Harry’s glasses off, setting them on the table.  
“Don’t let me be the only one crying in front of my childhood rival now Harry,” he smiles softly.  
He cradled Harry as he cried, realizing for the first time how the Golden Boy must feel. From what he heard, there was no one left in Harry’s family. He couldn’t imagine how he must feel. Draco buried his face in the messy black hair, shedding tears of his own for the other.  
He was going to be the Golden Boy’s savior. He swore upon it.


	4. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal thoughts, self-harm, bullying, (detailed) rape, abuse, verbal abuse

The mirror was Draco's worst enemy. He hated passing it front of it. All he saw was a hollow husk that could have been a decent person. It only reminded him how messed up he had become, and how far he had fallen since then. His eyes were void of emotion. His posture had cracks. Anyone who was paying any sort of attention would have been able to tell just how broken he was, and he hated being reminded of it. He avoided mirrors at all costs. It was hard to avoid the ones in the bathrooms though. He kept his head down, but sometimes couldn't help it. The monster he saw always startled him. He would run out of the bathroom and stand in the corridor for several moments to calm down and collect his thoughts. Other times, he locked himself in the farthest stall and roll his sleeves up as he sat on the floor.

He had left Potions to go to the bathroom. Once he reached the sinks he stopped. Today was not a day where he could run into the hall. He barely made it to the last stall before he broke down. With how many people that break down in the bathrooms this year, he didn’t bother with a ‘silencio’. He sank to the floor and sobbed. Digging around in his robe, he sliced his finger on the item he was searching for. Looking at the blood on his fingertip, he gripped the blade.    
With each slice he made on his arm, over old ones, and making new ones, he sobbed less and less. By the time he heard the footsteps outside the door of his stall, he had stopped sobbing completely. Blood was pouring down his arm.   
Draco dropped the blade with a start, freaking out as it slid out from under the door. He heard the blade stop suddenly, and he heard as it was picked up.    
“Malfoy, come out here.”   
He blinked back tears, and shakily stood up to unlock the door. He hid his arm within the folds of his robes. Potter wasn’t having any of that though, and grabbed it. He hissed with pain, and couldn’t make himself meet Potter’s glare. To his surprise, the other said nothing. Instead he was dragged to the sinks. Potter made him stick his arm under the running water to clean him off and cast several charms. He washed the blade as Draco dried himself off.   
Several moments went by before anything was said.   
“Malfoy, please do not do this again.”   
He looked at the Golden Boy.   
“I’m not kidding. You had me w…” he paused, “Worried. You had me worried about you. Then I come in here and you’re cutting yourself so much so that there is not a spot left on your wrist that is undamaged.”   
Draco looked down at his wrist, and rubbed the now healing scars, “You do it too…” he murmured.   
“Yeah, I do. But I…” he sighed, “Why don’t we make an agreement.”   
He looked at the other questioningly.   
“Each time of us hurts ourselves, the other is allowed to ask as intrusive a question as they want, and we have to answer it.”   
“Would that include today…?”   
“No. But the next time it happens.”   
Draco thought about it. Agreeing to this would mean having to share things he wasn’t ready to explain. It would also mean he would have something to mentally stop himself from doing such a thing. If he didn’t agree, Potter would also hurt himself again and again. Rationally, agreeing was the best option, but he couldn’t have the risk of sharing more information than he was ready for. There were things he didn’t want Potter to know. He sighed softly, and finally met the other’s gaze.   
“Fine.”   
“Are you sure?”   
“Yes.”   
Potter reached his hand out to him. He took it.   
“Deal?”   
“Deal.”   
Draco glanced at the mirror, and quickly looked away. Potter must have noticed, because he suddenly was pulled into a hug. It was awkward being pulled into a hug from the other, shorter, man. He accepted it despite that, and took a deep breath.   
“You’ve missed the last half of class.”   
“That’s okay. I can catch up…”   
“I know. I’m just letting you know. Don’t miss your next class though, okay?”   
He nodded, and let go of Potter. As he took a step back he smiled a very small smile.   
“Thank you.”   
“You’re welcome. Now go.”   
  
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“What happened when you met with...The Dark Lord?” he was still uncomfortable calling him by his name.   
“I was dead, than I wasn’t. It’s hard to explain. When I was dead I was at King’s Cross with Dumbledore, and there was an ugly baby-looking Voldemort dying. I am assuming that was the part of his soul that attached itself to me.”   
“King’s Cross?”   
“Not sure.”   
“I can only imagine what sort of horror that...thing was.”   
“It wasn’t even scary, it was just gross-looking.”   
“I don’t want to even think about it.”   
“Same. So tell me…”   
“Tell you what?”   
Potter got a bit quieter, “Why were you so upset earlier…?”   
He didn’t reply immediately. He stared at the fire for a while.   
“It’s the mirrors.”   
“Mirrors?”   
“When I see the monster in them.”   
“Monster?”   
“The soulless, empty, emotionless, and undeserving monster that is me.”   
“Oh…”   
“I look in the mirror and it just…” he glanced at Potter, “I don’t deserve to be alive.”   
“Don’t talk like that.”   
“I had choices you know. I made the wrong ones.”   
“You had a choice of following orders or dying, or watching your family die. Doesn’t sound like much of a choice to me.”   
“But it was still a choice.”   
“Listen to me. You don’t deserve to die, okay? You were used and happened to be on the wrong side. I was also used, but happened to be on the good side. I didn’t have much of a choice either.”   
“But you are the Savior. People look up to you! They don’t look at you and think you’re a horrible person. People aren’t afraid of you the way they are me,” he cried.   
“That’s why you have to prove them wrong Malfoy. You have to bring it upon yourself to better the image people have of you.”   
“How can I do that when I am worthless? I can’t even take proper care of myself or my mother!” he exclaimed, rising from his seat and pacing around.   
“Hey! Calm down, okay? You’re not worthless. I don’t know a single person who ever was.”   
“Easy for you to say. You were always surrounded with good people.”   
“Always? Have you forgotten what I said last night?”   
Draco stopped pacing, and stared at the other wide-eyed.    
“I...I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry--”   
“No. No that’s fine. You really don’t see me past my Savior status do you? Is that why you’ve always hated me? Because I have all the fame and glory? People looking up to me? It’s not all it’s made out to be, you know.”   
“I know-- I just didn’t think about--”   
“Stop. Just stop. I’m going to go back to the do--”   
“No Harry please stay with me…” he reached out to grab the other’s arm.   
They both stop. Both were surprised by the words that had escaped Draco’s own mouth. He touched his lips with the hand he had reached out, their gaze never breaking.   
“Did you just…”   
“I...yes?”   
They were silent for a while longer, before simultaneously sitting on the couch.    
“I really am sorry…” Draco started.   
“I know. I’m sorry for blowing up on you.”   
“It’s okay...I deserv--” he stopped himself.   
Harry cleared his throat, and Draco looked over.    
“We on a first name basis now?”   
“I mean...I guess we are…”   
There were several minutes of silence.   
“This is weird.”   
“Yeah, yeah it is.”   
With that they laughed, and didn’t stop laughing until there were tears. It was funny to Draco, that they were sworn enemies for so long. Now they sit in this room and share their troubles and argue and call each other by first names. Almost as if they were friends. Almost

 

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The next few days Draco felt happier. He tried to do what Harry had told him. Make kinder gestures, smile every once in awhile. Make himself not so...brooding and scary. People looked at him confused now, rather than fearfully. He was paired up with Harry in potions again, and didn’t notice the looks they got. A few times they walked to classes together; Draco only caught a few of the horrid looks on people’s faces before Harry distracted him with some dumb comment. They would laugh, and the world seemed a little better.

Things don’t stay good for Draco forever though, he soon learned. He was walking back to the dorm after lunch one day to gather books. It was quiet in the corridors, and he hummed softly; a song his mother had sung to him when he was little. There was an short test in Herbology that day, so he was focused on that, and not the brooding figures in one of the corridors he passed by.

“Hey you prat!”   
Draco spun around, confused, “Who’s there?”   
“Oh you know, those “mother fuckers” from the other day,” the largest one of the group said as they stepped in front of him.   
Draco gulped, and stood straighter, “What do you want?”   
“To finish what we started, and also beat you senseless for trying to rub off on our Savior.”    
“Rub off on…? What are you talking about?”   
“We see you and Harry Potter walking around sometimes. Having a good old time trying to bring him down with you are you?” said one of the cronies.   
“No? I wouldn’t do that--”   
“Shut up bitch,” said the largest boy as he slapped Draco across the face.    
He touched his reddening cheek, and stumbled, books dropping from his grasp. The Large One smirked, and nodded his head at his buddies.    
“Grab him. We’re going to take him somewhere where we won’t be interrupted.”   
Draco went to turn and scream. He wanted to run but before he could even start the boys were on him. He struggled against their grips. He saw The Large One kick his stuff behind a statue, and he whimpered, tears coming to his eyes. He should have waited until lunch was completely over. He shouldn’t have gone to lunch at all. Now no one will know where he went. Where he was taken. 

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“You’re a broken bitch! Fucking piece of trash!”   
“Fucking worthless shit!”   
“You’re going to be our slut now!”   
“Death Eater SCUM!”   
The boys kept repeating these words to Draco every time they hit him. They had him tied up and silenced his voice. Tears ran down his face, hoping someone would hear these boys’ shouts in this abandoned tower. His hopes died down with every minute that passed. Every time the boys hit him, he lost more of what little self-confidence he had built with help from Harry.    
When they started to tear at his clothes, he sobbed. No one was going to save him this time. The Large One started to undo his pants, and Draco’s eyes widened, and he averted them. It was no use as The Large One stuck his penis in Draco’s face.   
“Suck it you fucking worthless whore.”   
Draco kept his mouth shut, tears streaming down his face.   
“I SAID SUCK IT,” he yelled as he shoved his penis in Draco’s mouth.   
He choked on it, and cried more, doing as he was told. His hair was yanked as The Large One face-fucked him. He gagged as the other forced him to deep throat. His dignity was torn. He felt his clothes being torn off finally, and he whimpered as the cold air of the castle touched his skin. He whimpered more as the rough, filthy hands of the other boys began touching him. His ass was grabbed and spread as he was forced on his hands and knees. His hands and feet were still tied together. His only balance were the boys grabbing him. He heard their pants unzip and he cried out, or at least tried to, around the cock in his mouth. There was no preparation for the pain he felt as he was suddenly thrust into. He sobbed. He was broken.   
  


What was actually ten minutes felt like ten hours. When the boys were done they let him fall to the stone floor, and they kicked him about as they cleaned themselves up.    
“See you next time fuck toy!” The Large One called out as they left the tower laughing.   
Draco’s sense of self was lost. He threw up, having been forced to swallow. He shivered and tried to scoot away from it. He felt disgusting. He was exhausted. He was cold. He needed to try and get up...He had to get up...He had to…He...   
He passed out.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! I've been awfully busy on top of having writer's block. I am back and ready to go! Sorry lovelies. 
> 
> Fanfic writing playist:  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/1227921054/playlist/21JawXnShZZl2eqDCo686W


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